• Katrina Carruth

Hello.... It's me......

Once upon a time, I wrote a blog post about limiting beliefs and then waited almost ten months before posting another one.

My immediate reaction was to beat myself up and use this post to destroy myself for being a hypocrite. I planned to tell you about how I allowed those beliefs to break into my mind and yank out all possible hope of carrying on this blog the way I had planned. It started as a looooooong (unnecessary) apology about how stupid it was to write about limiting beliefs and then not follow through on the commitment I claimed to have made to myself.

I scratched that thought (feeling that might be too aggressive) and decided to jot down a list of excuses as to why I haven’t been able to write anything instead. I assumed I had to tell you what I’ve been going through and the things that have come up that kept me from keeping this blog moving. I felt I owed everyone an explanation as to why I haven’t utilized all my new free time with a nonexistent social life and lack of standard obligations.

And then…. I took some inventory of the last several months and realized that I, like so many of you, was being way too hard on myself.

Experiencing 2020 is like watching Titanic. People are drowning, some have their life jackets, others are in boats, tensions are high, flares are in the sky, and all are struggling and hoping they’ll stay afloat long enough for help to arrive. Surely help will arrive before it’s too late, right?

The uncertainty is paralyzing.

This is the first time in several months that I have started to feel like myself, and it’s taken that entire time for me to give myself permission to say that I have been doing enough. Every day I find little things that bring me joy and allow myself a moment of compassion.

So, all I really have to say is this: be kind and stop “shoulding” all over yourself. There’s always something we can add to our to-do lists, something to feel guilty about, someone to compare yourself to, something to overwhelm our thoughts. I’d like to encourage you to take small steps, as often as you can, to give yourself credit for what you are doing – even if all you can manage to do is not give yourself a hard time for taking much needed mental breaks.

Stay tuned. I’ll be back.

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